Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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