we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Send help, water and tortillas.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
