Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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