Pants 0. Shit 1.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
sex in a hospital.. check
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
