hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize