This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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