I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You ate ashes out of my bong
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
