So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Do vagina's smell?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
