Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
