Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
