The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Do you have feelings for this penis?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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