so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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