I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
