There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
im six kinds of drunk right now
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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