What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize