i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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