I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
cat food counts as protein by the way
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize
