In America we eat man semen.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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