Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
