I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
