Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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