get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
