I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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