I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
