literally had 100 drinks last night.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize