Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
