Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize