you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
