I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
