were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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