Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize