are you still at the devil's house?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize