i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
