Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
