Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I've blown a few things in my day
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize
