She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
