Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
