i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize