At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
third nipple confirmed
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
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