I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
