I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize