I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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