I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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