I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize