I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
