saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
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