By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
