She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Life is so much better after having sex.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize