hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
