Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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