we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
