I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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