i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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