Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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