never play flip cup with pint glasses
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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