I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
