The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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